We are about to enter the greatest month of the year!

Summer ends, leaves fall from the trees, kids crawl back into their social engineering factories of doom, and everyone I come into contact with feels the need to make some kind of lame comment like, “Hey, this is your month!” or make a stupid reference to that shitty Green Day song.

I don’t really mind the attention. What’s the point of having a unique name if no one acknowledges it? I most certainly wouldn’t trade it for another, although once when I was six I did change it to “She-Ra” for a month.

What I do mind is that people, collectively, are so fucking unoriginal. For decades I’ve had the same goddamn questions asked about my name upon meeting someone for the first time:

Imagine having those same questions asked of you by each and every person you ever met in your entire life. Seriously. It gets annoying. I think that most people are just so fucking boring and far from creative that they can’t even imagine the possibility of tens of thousands of others having already asked me the same thing.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know exactly why my parents chose to name me September. I do know that if I were to have been born a boy, they would have named me Two Horse after a Cherokee ancestor on my mother’s side. So, really, I guess, that’s a reason to be glad not to have been born with a penis.

I do love my name. I just hate dumb people who feel the need to point out the obvious fact that it is also a month. A simple, “Hey, cool name!” or “Oh, that’s unique,” is sufficient.

Tags: comic, garland, hills of elysium, names, september, she-ra, two horse