On this sunny spring day, while many are out searching for dyed boiled eggs in a field or praying to their Zombie Jesus, I find myself unexpectedly homesick, and not for ponies or parades down the main street of the tiny little town where I grew up, although both were prominent fixtures of my childhood. No, today I long for a place that surprisingly felt like home the first time I set foot on its foreign soil some 20 years ago.

When I sit alone on the internet for long enough, it is inevitable that I find myself scouring the web for photos, videos, music, and any type of media to remind me of the paradise that is Okinawa, Japan. From an early age, I was lucky enough to visit Okinawa and make lifelong friends with the Chinen family, whose son was once an exchange student and lived with my family here in America for a period of time. Over the years, our two families developed a bond stronger than any other I had ever known or probably ever will come to know in the future. As a child first visiting Okinawa, I was in awe of its culture, food, traditions, and ways of life. I was mesmerized by the music and the language and was determined to study both and make Okinawa not just a destination, but a significant influence on my daily life.

I have since traveled to Okinawa half a dozen times, sometimes for a few weeks, others for a full summer. Each and every trip that I take, as soon as I step off of the plane, an immediate sense of peace washes over me. It is difficult to describe what it feels like to truly belong somewhere and to feel with every ounce of your being that a certain balance is in perfect place. Any description I could come up with would indeed fall short in conveying just how alive and content being in the right place can make a person feel. The best way I can find to put it simply is that in Okinawa, I feel ME.

As I grow older, my love and longing for Okinawa only intensifies, but the opportunities to visit diminish as life tends to get in the way. Taking off for a month long trip isn’t as easy as it once was, what with bills to pay and dreams to follow. It has been three years now since my last trip, during which I had the privilege of being maid of honor in my best friend, Misuzu’s wedding. My last visit was just as amazing as the rest, and I have cherished the memories it served me, but three years have passed and my itch to return is growing stronger. There is an inner chaos that I have come to learn can only be quieted and calmed by the sands of Okinawan shores and the company of my good friends who reside there. Sure, I can reflect on the memories through photos, find videos online of the various eisa festivals, and I can even buy Orion Beer, an Okinawan staple, at the market down the street from my house. Some days these things comfort me and trick me into feeling a little more at home. But ultimately, as they say, home is where the heart is, and my heart was left in Okinawa two decades ago.

I have come to grow accustomed to that feeling of longing and it has served me well as an inspiration and a sort of motivation to remain in constant pursuit of my dreams. Most days, I forget that it even exists. I carry on with my life, loving where I am and what I’m doing. But every once in a while I am reminded of the home to which I so desperately long to return. Once in a while I get so homesick I could puke. Today I feel this way, but it should pass soon. For now, I think I will go buy some Orion and drunk-skype Okinawa. It’s 8AM there, and I think Misuzu will be up.

Teahouse of the August Moon, Okinawa, JP, Nov. 1990. (L-R: Marika Garland, Misuzu Chinen, Yoshahide Chinen, September Garland)

Tags: chinen, eisa, homesick, japan, language, naha, okinawa, orion beer, travel, uchinanchu